Daily Journal - 3/7/06 & 3/8/06 & 3/9/06
Tuesday - March 7, 2006 - It's hard to describe going to a Compassionate
Friends meeting. Everyone there has lost a child. When other bereaved
parents say to me, "I can't imagine how you feel" (losing two children). I
know what they mean. They know how great their own pain is - so multiply
that times two. It is unimaginable, isn't it...
I've been extremely impressed with how amazing Andrew and Jarrett's
friends have been through this three-year mark since the accident and their
deaths. They understand it better than a lot of adults do.
Without their AWESOME support, I know it would be much more difficult.
They seem to intuitively know WHAT to do. It seems as though the students
are the teachers. see ya later, djb
Friends meeting. Everyone there has lost a child. When other bereaved
parents say to me, "I can't imagine how you feel" (losing two children). I
know what they mean. They know how great their own pain is - so multiply
that times two. It is unimaginable, isn't it...
I've been extremely impressed with how amazing Andrew and Jarrett's
friends have been through this three-year mark since the accident and their
deaths. They understand it better than a lot of adults do.
Without their AWESOME support, I know it would be much more difficult.
They seem to intuitively know WHAT to do. It seems as though the students
are the teachers. see ya later, djb
Jarrett in his bright yellow Nike shirt with his
little buddy Hobbes, staring at his scrambled
eggs. This picture really cracks me up - hey!
That's a pretty good joke, Jarrett would like it,
but he'd say, "Oh, Mom."
little buddy Hobbes, staring at his scrambled
eggs. This picture really cracks me up - hey!
That's a pretty good joke, Jarrett would like it,
but he'd say, "Oh, Mom."
Wednesday - March 8, 2006 - Three years ago, at this time, we
were at Andrew & Jarrett's funeral at Kaneland High School. We
had it videotaped just in case we wanted to see it again because it
was hard to remember exactly what went on.
They told us where to go and when to be there and we were! The
video only shows their closed caskets being wheeled into the gym
so there's no creepy factor involved except that they're not alive, of
course.
It was weird because in the back of my mind, I kept thinking, "I
should call the boys and tell them where I am and when I'll be back."
That went on for a while. It's hard to change your focus as a mom
from worrying about them every minute to now wondering where
they are every minute. Huge shift in the brain that has gone into
shock.
Watching the actual DVD is quite amazing because we don't have
to "remember" what happened. Everything about it is quite
beautiful from the support of our families and the community to the
support of their friends and classmates - the choir was awesome!
The kids who gave their funny remembrances is a treasure to
watch, and of course, Gary Augustine's wonderfully moving service!
I'm sure people who haven't walked two moons in my moccasins
might think it's morbid but that's the last time I saw them, after the
service they were buried. We were able to tuck them in before
Bruce closed the caskets.
It's not something you'll ever forget - believe me when I say that. It's
not something I want to forget either. bye, djb
were at Andrew & Jarrett's funeral at Kaneland High School. We
had it videotaped just in case we wanted to see it again because it
was hard to remember exactly what went on.
They told us where to go and when to be there and we were! The
video only shows their closed caskets being wheeled into the gym
so there's no creepy factor involved except that they're not alive, of
course.
It was weird because in the back of my mind, I kept thinking, "I
should call the boys and tell them where I am and when I'll be back."
That went on for a while. It's hard to change your focus as a mom
from worrying about them every minute to now wondering where
they are every minute. Huge shift in the brain that has gone into
shock.
Watching the actual DVD is quite amazing because we don't have
to "remember" what happened. Everything about it is quite
beautiful from the support of our families and the community to the
support of their friends and classmates - the choir was awesome!
The kids who gave their funny remembrances is a treasure to
watch, and of course, Gary Augustine's wonderfully moving service!
I'm sure people who haven't walked two moons in my moccasins
might think it's morbid but that's the last time I saw them, after the
service they were buried. We were able to tuck them in before
Bruce closed the caskets.
It's not something you'll ever forget - believe me when I say that. It's
not something I want to forget either. bye, djb
Bob, Andrew, Donna, Jarrett in July 1995 -- a few weeks before I
was diagnosed with Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura
was diagnosed with Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura
Andrew's head on Jarrett's shoulder - maybe 1993
Thursday - March 9, 2006 - I should start a new journal page today but it takes soooooooo
long. I just want to write a bit, pop in a picture and then go have some breakfast.
Yesterday, I spent all day cleaning the house because the ladies were coming over last
night to continue the discussion about the Andrew & Jarrett scholarship which will end this
year when Jarrett's class graduates. We talked to Leslie at the cemetery. She's writing the
article, and Laura came to take pictures with her most excellent cameras!
They are the most delightful young ladies I've met in a long time. Very personable - plus,
they laugh at my jokes! Which obviously means that they are also quite intelligent!!!! Of
course, they wanted to see the Loch Ness monster DVD. It cracks me up every time. I only
wish I could erase my performance. I look and sound SO goofy. It's pitiful.
I'm putting the scholarship info on here sometime soon - I have to rearrange the page
because it was on the old website. My job today is to get the scholarship application on
here, so that all an applicant has to do is to fill it out and email it back to me. Better get to
work. talk to you later, djb
long. I just want to write a bit, pop in a picture and then go have some breakfast.
Yesterday, I spent all day cleaning the house because the ladies were coming over last
night to continue the discussion about the Andrew & Jarrett scholarship which will end this
year when Jarrett's class graduates. We talked to Leslie at the cemetery. She's writing the
article, and Laura came to take pictures with her most excellent cameras!
They are the most delightful young ladies I've met in a long time. Very personable - plus,
they laugh at my jokes! Which obviously means that they are also quite intelligent!!!! Of
course, they wanted to see the Loch Ness monster DVD. It cracks me up every time. I only
wish I could erase my performance. I look and sound SO goofy. It's pitiful.
I'm putting the scholarship info on here sometime soon - I have to rearrange the page
because it was on the old website. My job today is to get the scholarship application on
here, so that all an applicant has to do is to fill it out and email it back to me. Better get to
work. talk to you later, djb
Jarrett - Mr. Cool
EDITORIAL NOTE 5 years later (March 7, 2011): The bold statement
below ("I can't imagine how you feel") is what did me in with the
Compassionate Friends. If they couldn't imagine how I felt, who could?
Who could possibly understand my pain?? And it wasn't said to me
once or twice -- it was said numerous times over numerous occasions
by numerous individuals -- usually mothers.
below ("I can't imagine how you feel") is what did me in with the
Compassionate Friends. If they couldn't imagine how I felt, who could?
Who could possibly understand my pain?? And it wasn't said to me
once or twice -- it was said numerous times over numerous occasions
by numerous individuals -- usually mothers.